Below are the 15 most recent journal entries recorded in soul_merge's LiveJournal:

Thursday, January 6th, 2005
4:11 am	We're still alive! We just haven't been on the computer very much. Meish and I are still happy little lovebirds that spend silly amounts of time in the bedroom. ;) We're thinking about relocating and going someplace warm and that has more fun things to do than make fun of the people at starbucks whilst drinking 5 dollar coffee. I am totally bored with my job and need something new. Slinging drinks to old drunk businessmen can only be fun for so long. About 5 minutes. And I'm way past 5 minutes by now. :D I like my job, I mean I make really good money for what I do. But, I need more. Truth be told, we're thinking about starting an internet site. Yes, one of those naked ones. Honestly, we're both kinky freaks. So we might as well make money doing it. Meish wants to get back into photography and I'm actually thinking about getting into it too. I've always had an interest in it. I've always wanted to create in a visual medium and I can't draw to save my life, so that's about my only choice. lol Though, I used to do sculpture and I was good. I actually sold some work a few years ago but, I haven't done it in so long and I don't have the space to start up again. But, I probably will one day. So, when I do, make sure you buy something so you can say that you own a Sarah original. :p Currently Meish is sitting next to me headbanging to Warrant. Quick, go tell all of his goth friends!! lol Of course, he's on his 12th Heineken. That may explain a bit. Okay, well we're off to put things in our butts. Well, TRY to get things in our butts, it's been awhile. Wish us luck. And send us lube. Love, The Sarah and Meishy show Smoochies. Current Mood: going to go fuck. :D Current Music: Warrant - Cherry Pie (yeah, we're dorks) (Comment on this)
Saturday, August 21st, 2004
1:15 am	LoOk WhO's TaLkIn' NoW! Meish - Haha! Look who's updating! It's ME! Woot! Anyway...I'm on the prowl for a new job, and it seems EVERYTHING is getting in my way. Not only am I distracted by my BEAUTIFUL girlfriend, but on top of it all, my plates just expired on my truck and I need to renew them. Blah! This time I actually have to be picky about the job I get because I have to make enough money to get a new apt. And who really wants to live in a trash dump for an apartment complex. NO ONE! It's all good though...I've never had a problem getting a job so I don't see me having a problem this time. On a more fun note...I've been turning alot of songs I've written into actual songs. I know that sounds odd but its the only way I can explain it. I wrote alot of songs awhile back and because of everything going on I haven't really had a chance to sing them and work out tones and tempos. Well, now I find myself singing these songs around the house which is making me very happy. I'm starting to miss all my friends back in Indy which had me depressed for awhile, but I've kind of stepped back and thought about how many great friends I can make here. I have plenty of ways to do so and I'm a very outgoing person. It will be no time before I'm on my feet and having fun in utter happiness. And hell, I've got a great girl so I think thats one hell of a start dont you?! Well, I'm off...It's time to clean up this computer room before I cant see the floor so I'll catch ya all on da flip side! Peace!! (lol) (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Sunday, August 15th, 2004
5:54 am	In today's news... I love Meish! (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Friday, August 13th, 2004
3:38 am	So, Sarah is drunk....wOOt! And I am about to force Meish to update so I can look back at it and smile. He's going to get all smiley and cute and type a bunch of things right in front of my face and I'll feel all loved and girly...so...here's Meish!! Haha Don't I have the most awesome girly in the entire world! Although it is really bad that she has to force me to write in OUR journal... Ok here it goes...I don't write in here much because I KNOW that I love my baby. The whole world doesn't need to to know this because I already do...But I do know that my girly likes to read all this so I will put forth the effort into writing more frequently. Baby, I love you...more than I love myself...and though that might scare me at times., its 100% true! I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU! There arent really any other words i can use to describe how I feel, so they will have to do till I can find them. I wake up every morning just waiting to wake up again the next day and roll over to see you there next to me. You are the most beautiful thing I have ever seen and I'm pretty sure you are the most beautiful thing I will EVER see! Don't ever let a day go by with me at your side or not go by without ever feeling beautiful. I love you... And I can safely say...I always will. No one has ever shown me what you have in this short amount of time and I don't ever want to think of my life without you....I love you MUAHZ! (Comment on this)
Tuesday, August 3rd, 2004
1:22 pm	Take two bisexuals, add alcohol...shake....add many hot people...shake...good times. :) Since Meish NEVER FUCKING UPDATES. I'll do it. (He's sitting here whining like a little bitch cause he does "do good" at journal) We have been having so much fun together. This has been the best time of my life. I"m so in love. :) Okay, I thought I was going to do a big long update, but I'm fucking hungover. So, I"m just going to link my old journal to this one so we can get some more friends. :) (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Thursday, July 22nd, 2004
10:49 pm	Chugga chugga woo woo! It's the sound of the SUCK train. Sarah~ Ugh, Meish just called and said he has to stay in Indy tonight because one of the other managers walked out and he has to help cover the shifts. Yeah, no Meish for 24 hours makes Sarah a sad girl. I have NO CLUE how I'm going to sleep tonight. At least I had the sense to give him my cell phone before he left today in case he had any problems. Now he can call me if he has time. And it gives me extra time to finish up his laundry and get the bedroom back in order. I swear that boy has more clothes than anyone I've ever met. lol *sigh* I miss my baby already. :( Current Mood: sad (Comment on this)
5:33 pm	Still amazed Sarah ~ Last night or this morning rather Meish showed me how well he knew me. We had a conversation in which is just picked me apart and laid me bare. I haven't had that experience before. It just showed me more than ever that I have made the right decision in being with him. I have never felt more lovely and special. I have never liked myself this much before. He makes me want to better myself in every way so he can be proud of me. I have heard people say that before. And I think they they are saying it from a a selfish place. I don't want to make myself better to keep him. I want to make myself better to be worthy of him. He is such a beautiful person in more ways than I could ever name. I thank whatever beings are out there that he came into my life. It's funny too. He's catching alot of shit from some of his online friends. I am bothered in a way because I don't want him to have to have any negative effects from us being together. But, the thing is...Meish and I are real life. We're not words on a screen. We are people that see each other everyday and hold each other as we fall asleep. In the grand scheme of things, faceless people have little to do with our relationship. I am very bothered by the fact that one of his best friends has said that she does not support our relationship. Mostly because I happen to possess a vagina. It hurts me because it hurts Meish. Yes, I have friends that are worried about me. We did move very fast. But, they support me in my happiness and just let me know that they are there for me. I guess that I am blessed because I have true friends that wouldn't ditch me because of a relationship. I don't mean to be harsh or say that Meish's friends aren't true friends. I'm just saying that I wish they would understand that Meish is happy and that they as his friends should support his decisons. I just want Meish to be happy and loved by as many people as possible as it is what he deserves. I feel sorry for people who are as blessed as I am to have him in thier lives. People are really missing out if they don't know how magical he is. Well, back to housecleaning and making a cd for Meish. He has wicked long car drives to make back and forth until he gets a new job or transfers so I want him to have good things to listen to. Ya know, like Yanni and shit. :P Current Mood: good (4 Comments |Comment on this)
Tuesday, July 20th, 2004
6:04 pm	*squee!!!!* Sarah ~ Meish moved in with me on Sunday. YAY!!! I'm so happy that he's here. It's amazing to wake up in the morning and be able to kiss him and see him next to me. Today we hung up his clothes in our....OUR...closet and it really feels real now. I'm so happy I could pee. :D Current Mood: bouncy (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Sunday, July 18th, 2004
2:12 am	Meish will love this... What Goth Band Should You Be In? by GothicSidhe Username Age Band The Cruxshadows Position Singer Famous For Cutting yourself onstage. Created with the ORIGINAL MemeGen! (Comment on this)
Saturday, July 17th, 2004
2:05 am	Whew. Sarah~ Okay, I just got off the phone with Meish. His asshat of a roomate kicked him out behind his back and his parents decided at the last minute that they weren't going to let him move in with them. Yeah, so nice of them. So, after kicking around a bunch of ideas we've decided that he's moving here and starting school again. With the options that we had its the best decision to make for our future. I hate that he has to pick up and move but, at least I know that he will be coming to an environment where people will care about him and treat him as he should be treated. He deserves so much more than life has handed him. He's such a beautiful person in so many ways. I don't know if I would have the strength to hold it all together had I have gone threw even half of what he has been through. He amazes me on so many levels. At least now I know that I can keep him here with me, safe and loved. I love you, Meish. Current Mood: hopeful Current Music: Bury Me Deep Inside Your Heart - HIM (Comment on this)
Friday, July 16th, 2004
11:21 pm	OMG Sarah~ I'm freaking out. I KNEW something was wrong. I just got a message from Meish on my phone saying that some bad things have happened and he has no way for me to get ahold of him. Okay, he just called I still have no idea what's going on but, I can call him back in two minutes to find out. I already called in the cavalry and told my dad we may be either going to Indy to get him or he would be coming here to stay if that's what's going on. OMG, I'm fucking freaking out. Current Mood: distressed (Comment on this)
2:56 pm	*sigh* Sarah~ Well, I'm getting ready to head off to work and I haven't heard from Meish since he left on Thursday. :( This is the first time since we started talking that he didn't talk to me until I fell asleep. Of course my lovely over active imagination has lead me from car crashes to arrests to nuclear bombings. But, most likely he's either at his parents or working a double. That's the crappy thing about a good imagination. You can come up with wonderful stories and good poetry but, when it comes to not hearing from someone you love, a good imagination turns to a nightmare machine. :| Oh well who needs sleep anyway? I miss you Meish. I don't feel right unless you're next to me. Current Mood: worried Current Music: Portishead - Biscuit (Comment on this)
Thursday, July 15th, 2004
2:33 pm	You just drove away... I miss you already. Come back soon baby. It's only home when you're here. ~The Tea Party - These Living Arms~ so a crowd has gathered around us i'm pining one last kiss struggling with the lifeline in the shadow of this bliss patience my love it'll all be alright but ain't it funny how the fates work i feel cheated by the turn still this love it hovers over us and the lessons that we've learned patience my love it'll all be alright with your arms around me you're singing softly and i fade from memories and move on we were lost inside a wasteland of fools groping for the gold i wonder if they'll think of us whlie they're still searching for their souls patience my love it'll all be alright with your arms around me you're singing softly and i fade from memories and move on so never put it out my love the spirit is the flame that burns within hold on to me and it'll all be alright sleep now is descending like a dream still i'm shaking from the softness of your skin hodl on to me and it'll all be alright with your arms around me you're singing softly and i fade from memories and move on may nothing harm you i'm still inside you with my wings around you you'll go on sweet lover go on my love be strong Current Mood: melancholy (Comment on this)
12:05 am	I'm in WHAT???!!! Sarah~ I don't want to rehash everything Meish said, but I do want to elaborate on my feelings during this whole thing. Meish was someone who I admired from afar. I knew him from Hotgoth, and thought he was absolutely breathtaking. And way, WAAAAAAAAAAAAY out of my league. (As he sits here saying "Oh so not! You're in trouble.") I had a few very brief conversations with him via Yahoo but, everytime we would be on at the same time I would have to go to bed. Looking back now, I think it could have been fate making us wait until we were ready for something like this. We've both been hurt and have both come thisclose to giving it up. Anyway, I had sent out a few tentitive flirty comments to see what he would respond with. Well, he didn't. :( lol Then I saw that he was "engaged." Don't get me started on that. :) Well, somehow that didn't sit right with me. I don't know why at the time, but now I do. So, I decided to contact him. And I had him at *poke* lol (Forgive the cheesy Jerry Maguire reference.) That's how I started the conversation. I didn't know quite what to say to him. It started with the usual, "how ya doin" stuff and turned into a very detailed conversation in which I found out that he thought I was uber hot...with sprinkles. :) Aside from that, I found out that Meish is the sweetest person with the most amazing heart. That night I knew that something was going to happen between us. I didn't know if it was going to be an amazing friendship or the love of my life...I now know that it was both. A few days later, after many a phone call and late morning bedtimes he came to see me. By then I knew that I was falling for him very, very hard. He came into my work. Oh gods, I was SO FREAKING NERVOUS!! All day I ws like a basketcase. People at work thought I had finally lost it. lol I was bartending and it was toward the end of my shift. I was running around trying to make drinks and get my work down when I turned around to greet a new person at the bar. And my heart stopped. It was Meish. He was more beautiful than I could have ever imagined. He says he looks better in pictures, but I can tell you...he's wrong. There is nothing in this world like seeing his face light up with a smile. I have met people from the internet before and there is always this weird tension. You know, looking away from each other while speaking, not touching at all for fear that you're hand will break off or something. But, with Meish..I hugged him right away. And I knew I was home. (Although it was a very akward over the bar, feet off the floor hug. :) ) Well to make a long story short....oh, too late...he's sitting here with me right now. Its undescribable. I can look over to him and kiss him whenever I want. I can hold him in my arms. I can fuck the hell out of him. :) lol TMI!! TMI!!! I always thought that love meant that you had to give up parts of yourself to make it work. For the first time in my life I've been able to share the deepest darkest secrets I have and not feel as if I will be judged or hated. I feel more and more loved with everything I share. I love you Meish. You are my heart. Current Mood: immured (Comment on this)
Wednesday, July 14th, 2004
11:51 pm	~Who Knew~ Meish - It's kinda hard starting a new one of these but almost easy at the same time. Almost like starting over with a clean slate. That is actually how my life has been this last 2 weeks. It's kinda funny...you live your life thinking you have everything figured out than in one moment everything changes. And you like it for a change. My life seemed to be heading in every direction but the direction I wanted it in. Than one night I got a private message from a friend I hadn't talk to besides the usual "hello" and "goodnight." Well this conversation that is normally pretty short turned into a phone convo that went on all night and into the early morning. A few days later I found myself driving two and a half hours to meet a total stranger that I've only know in a few phone calls. As soon as I saw Sarah I knew I was going to do every thing I possibly could to make her mine. We spent an amazing 3 days together in which I fell in love. Not this cheesy internet love that is real as soon as you sign on the computer at night. But real undeniably true love! This last week ive caught myself scrounging for extra change just for gas money to see her again. I even called in sick to work to spend a few more days with her. I love you Sarah with all of my heart! Current Mood: loved (Comment on this)